Ageing Parents, Their Health Issues, And My Learnings
14th September, 2025
A few days back, my mom had a major health issue. And it triggered multiple minor health issues.
As she was recovering, my dad had a health issue of his own.
Seeing both my parents struggling with health-related problems, it felt like the end of the world for me.
I couldn't cry. I couldn't show my pain. I had to hide it all from them. And on top of this, I had to act like I've got everything figured out.
But honestly, I had no clue how to handle all of that.
Ageing parents and their health issues—I was not completely prepared for it (And I don't think anyone is).
But after a bunch of panic attacks, I understood some things. This doesn't mean I figured out everything. I'm still learning. But yeah, I've picked up a thing or two now.
First, Calm Yourself
I'm not saying not to panic. You'll panic!
When your mom is on bed, with BP over 200 and her left hand and leg are going numb, it'll scare the shit out of you, and you'll panic like crazy.
BUT, calm yourself! Because only then, you can take any action—be it first aid, rushing to the hospital, or just comforting them.
Second, Gather Resources
Resources can be people, vehicles, or information. Just gather them quickly!
Call whoever is available and can help you. Take your car, borrow a bike, or book a cab. Get information about hospitals—either ask someone or google it.
Gather everything that can help you!
Third, Realize That Recovery Takes Time
You rushed to the hospital, consulted the doctor, got the treatment done, and returned home after a couple of days.
Now, it's the recovery phase.
During this phase, days feel like weeks, and weeks feel like years. Time just slows down.
You want to see your mom and dad recover quickly. You badly want them to be like before.
But recovery takes time. And you need to accept this fact!
Only then, you can be normal and continue with your daily tasks. Or else, you just can't focus on anything—be it work, personal life, or your own health.
Fourth, Place Yourself in Their Shoes
These days, my mom has to take medicines in the morning, afternoon, and also at night.
Since there are a lot of tablets, my sis and I took charge of giving my mom her medicines on time.
One morning, I was late for work, and had to rush for the standup call. But I gave her the tablets and asked her to take them after having breakfast.
My meeting went a little longer than expected. Later, when I was done with the meeting, I asked my mom if she had the tablets. And she couldn't recall if she had them. (Also, she keeps forgetting about tablets a lot)
At that moment, I was so furious. Because this woman, while being sick, can remember to tell me to bring clothes from the balcony before it rains, but couldn't recall if she had the medicine.
I yelled at her. Now, I regret it; I shouldn't have done that. But at that moment, I just yelled.
More than anger, it was grief and pain. I was hurt. I was hurt because the entire family is trying hard to help her recover, but my mom just couldn't remember the tablets.
I mapped the number of days and tablets consumed from the start date, and figured out that she didn't have the medicine. I gave her the tablet and she had it.
Later, I reflected on that scene, actually tried to place myself in her shoes to understand why she can remember dry clothes but not medicine.
She remembers to take clothes off the balcony before it rains because she has done that several hundred times. But taking tablets? That wasn't her daily routine before. So, she keeps forgetting.
When I realized this, I regretted yelling at her, and apologized to her.
And then, I calmly explained to her why it's important to remember these things and comforted her.
She still forgets sometimes, but that's okay. I don't yell at her anymore. I calmly give her the medicine.
Sometimes, your parents act like kids, but you need to place yourself in their shoes, understand them, forgive them, and take care of them.
Finally, Fifth—Keep Assuring Them
While recovering, they'll ask you a million times if things will be okay. And you need to assure them a million times.
They are scared. They assume the worst. They constantly worry.
But your words can give them assurance and help them sleep. So, keep assuring them that things will be okay.
"It's gonna be fine. Don't worry. I'm here." — These simple words are enough. They give them the strength they need at that moment.
Ageing parents and their health issues is a scary thing. You'll never feel completely prepared for it, because no one ever is.
But you'll learn to find your way through the panic. You'll learn to be strong for them even when you're falling apart inside.
It's a journey taken one day, one crisis, and one small act of comfort at a time. You will figure it out. And somehow, it's going to be okay.